DID YOU HEAR THAT? IT SOUNDED LIKE A RIFLE. LIKE WE DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT WITH MY 401K IN THE TOILET, NOW THERE ARE POACHERS TO DEAL WITH.
YOU NEVER TELL ME I’M PRETTY ANYMORE.
WHAT? YES I DO.
NO YOU DON’T.
HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING TO A WORD-
TELL ME.
SERIOUSLY?
TELL ME RIGHT NOW.
… YOU’RE VERY PRETTY.
YOU’RE SO SWEET! I LOVE YOU FOREVER!
How to know when you’re about to start your period:
- Read this ATIAC every day for a month.
- If you read this multiple days in a row and think, “Oh man, I don’t know what’s lamer: the fact that there are women who actively ask this of their significant others or the fact that there are enough of them to make this into a stereotype. It’s called ‘SELF-esteem’ for a reason, ladies! BECAUSE YOU MAINTAIN IT YOURSELF.” then congratulations. You are not about to start your period.
- The first day you read this and find yourself thinking, “Awww…nobody ever tells that poor wolf she’s pretty…” then I’m sorry. You’re about to start your period.
- Your period will be over when you read this ATIAC and go back to thinking #1 again.
